Toilet Goals
“Pooping is an essential part of life, a crucial part of the health and beauty routine, and it’s one of the most visible biomarkers of your health.”
How often are you baking a loaf? When do you typically drop a duke? Do you ever get turtle head? Aren’t all these Poophemisms hilarious? Just to be clear, talking about “number two” is not faux pas.
I was “stuck” for almost a decade in my twenties—yes, constipated all the time, and when I wasn’t, it was the polar opposite. Not cute, I know, I know. I was ecstatic to have a decent poop once every two days, and I had no idea this was a result of my digestive health—which was one of the underlying reasons behind my acne and consistent breakouts.
During the depths of my poop struggles, I heard a story of a man who died from a heart-attack at the age of 52. He wasn’t the healthiest of Americans, weighing over 250 pounds with a large belly attached to his 5’11” frame. Because he was a registered organ donor, his body was sent to a hospital lab when he passed—and the doctors removed over 40 pounds of fecal matter out of his intestines. 40 pounds of poop.
Hearing this story changed my life—besides that fact that I was completely traumatized, I was convinced that I had 20+ pounds of poop in my belly, too. That’s when my fascination and obsession with poop and pooping began. Over the next several months, I started to learn more about digestive health, good- and bad-bacteria in the gut, and the importance of probiotics—and how this all affected the way I felt and looked. I started to track and monitor my own bathroom visits to compare it against a plethora of poop analyses.
What you see in the toilet bowl (and how often you see it) is a combination of your diet, fluids, lifestyle, and any medications you might be taking. The key is that your bowel movements are regular, and your stool is somewhat soft and easy to pass through.
The Bristol Stool Chart is a great poop guide to start with.
For me, it was a combination of everything—I wasn’t drinking enough water, having a poor diet and not eating enough fiber, lack of exercise, and putting a bunch of poison into my body, let alone know what a probiotic was. When you take care of your body and feed it the proper nutrients it needs, your kidney and liver function at optimal levels—these two organs filter out toxins in our digestive track and the waste product is eliminated into the toilet. It’s our greatest natural form of daily detoxing. And because our skin is our largest organ, it is directly affected by the quantity and quality of our poops.
Research shows that approximately 75% of our poop is water and only 25% is solid, including indigestible food, fats, proteins, and dead bacteria. Think about how much food you’re consuming every day, and how much you’re eliminating—does it seem equally weighted? Most likely, probably not—which means our bodies hold on to certain foods for days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years. When certain foods aren’t eliminated, they sit in the intestines and decompose, rot, ferment—all of which can continue to irritate bowel movement, make you constipated, cause you to gain weight and/or bloat, or lead to other health risks because of the additional bacterial growth from the rotting carcasses in your system.
What does all this poop stuff have to do with my skin? Because I wasn’t a regular on the golden seat, my body was trying to eliminate in other forms—via the route of my face in herds of pimples. It sucked the soul out of my self-esteem, and I was embarrassed to ever leave my house without a full face of make-up on. But I knew I had the power to change this—at the very least, I had to try to change my habits and get myself to eat, drink, and do things that would make me poop more.
More than half of healthy Americans suffer from poop struggles, digestive issues, and health risks associated with gut flora. Studies show that over 75% of people with acne may have an imbalance in gut bacteria, and more research shows that the bacteria in your gut can also influence your stress levels—stress increases cortisol hormones in the body which can lead to blocked pores, and therefore, can lead to more acne. It’s a vicious cycle. But you can nip it in the butt(hole)—literally.
If you’re on the toilet-struggle bus, here’s a few things to consider for a regular, healthy poop schedule:
Start each morning with 8 ounces of water
If exercise isn’t a part of your AM routine, go for a walk or jog for 15 minutes in the morning to wake up your muscles, including your intestinal muscles
Add high-fiber fruits to your breakfast—apples, pears, kiwi, figs
Increase fiber-rich vegetables into your lunch—spinach, brussels sprouts, broccoli*, chicory, artichoke, rhubarb
Replace regular potatoes for sweet potatoes
Replace carbs with beans, peas, and lentils
Add seeds to everything—chia seeds, flax seeds**
*If you’re like me, certain vegetables in the wild mustard (cruciferous) family make me bloated and gassy—I stay away from cauliflower, and portion-control broccoli (but not broccolini for some reason) and brussels sprouts. I replace most of my wild mustard foods with collard greens, dandelion, and swiss chard—excellent substitutes.
**If you have severe digestive issues like IBS or Crohn’s Diseases, check with your doctor or nutritionist about seed consumption as it may further irritate your gut health.
If you need a bit more help to get your intestinal muscles working again, peppers are an easy and natural way to unclog your pipes (with caution, overdoing this will be painful). Your intestines, like any other muscle in your body, may have forgotten how to work—so be patient, changing your diet and lifestyle for a day won’t make you a poop master overnight. Like all good things in life, it takes consistency and commitment. But I believe in you. Today, I poop twice a day, every day, and walk out of the house without any make-up on my face. If I can do this, I know you can, too. #toiletgoals
Sources: Rootfunctionalmedicine.com, apa.org, healthline.com